I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
