we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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