16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
