Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
