umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I looked at my own cervix.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Randomize
