That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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