Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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