I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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