Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
