i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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