i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
