So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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