I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She's the barista slut.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize