i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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