I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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