I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
