Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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