i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
