i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize