He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
