When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
