Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
