As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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