I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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