so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
