she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
