some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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