it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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