I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
