Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
