Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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