Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
