everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize