No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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