Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
