I heard we made out
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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