Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize