either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
