I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You are the jesus of drinking
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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