I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
