dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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