I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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