So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
