i barfeds in our rink
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
