Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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