Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.