I smell stomach acid.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?