this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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