Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
