Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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