Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
