Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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