turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
