In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
