just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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