I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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