That reminds me...we need to get swords
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
