Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So squirting runs in the family.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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