I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
4 words: hood of his car
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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