nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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