Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
