You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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