ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
