Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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