We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
